The Beer-Babe Test

The accepted truth about how Americans choose a president is The Beer-Buddy Test. In other words, "Who would you most like to have a beer with?"

When the choice involves the opposite sex, though, there's a problem. Sex rears its ugly head! Palin is very attractive. There's no doubt about that. It undoubtedly plays a factor in the huge crowds at her rallies.

That's not the problem, though. The problem is why McCain chose her. She's so patently unqualified it raises the question of whether McCain's judgment was impaired by sexual attraction!

Let's call this The Beer-Babe Test. The fundamental question is "Was he seduced?" Ask yourself these questions:

• Did sexual attraction play a role in his choice?
  
• Did it cloud his judgment?
• Was he so flattered by her attention he chose her in spite of her shortcomings?

If you can answer yes to any of these questions, the candidate should automatically be disqualified for office. (When the roles are reversed, the same questions apply. Only the pronouns change.)

The Beer-Buddy Test is only a metaphor. The real question is "Who's best on TV?" In other words, who can you live with the longest knowing you're going to have to watch him or her on TV for the next four years? Let's call this The TV-Tolerance Test.

It's still a ridiculous standard. Why can't the question be, "Who's the best qualified?" Call this The Qualified-Voter Test because unless you can answer this question rationally, it's you who's not qualified. If you haven't studied the issues, in other words, why are you voting?

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Image:

Image Editor. (2008, October 16). Sarah Palin dresses like porn’s “naughty” school teacher. Retrieved October 27, 2008 from http://www.flickr.com/photos/11304375@N07/2946781686/